When Slippage is Bad

Slippage is the practice of offering something - a discount coupon, a voucher for future service, a cup of coffee, etc. - knowing that a large percentage of the folks who qualify for the offer will never claim it. Typically, this is done by providing the offer as a gift card or voucher, because people misplace those all the time, or fail to use them within a year (which is a reasonable time for them to be valid).

Unfortunately, there seems to be a growing trend among some companies in the B2B space to offer something that they never intend to honor, at all, ever. 

Typically, they do this by emailing or posting a survey where they collect your data, but announce once they have it that you won't receive the reward because of some ridiculous excuse. Here are a couple examples which you should never, ever do:

Don't offer a gift card for answering questions and then not give it to the folks who respond.

Don't offer a reward for completing a task and - after the respondent does whatever you've asked them to - refuse to provide the reward by saying the promotion expired. If it expired, you should have stopped taking entries.

Both of these practices turn your company's customer champions into enemies. They will never come back. And they will tell everyone they know... forever.

Have you come across similar swindles? Please feel free to share them in the comments.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Okay, no, this isn't about policing, but it is about playing roles. Specifically, what a sales rep is (and isn't) and what a sales manager has to be when it comes to Customers.

If a Customer hasn't paid a bill, asks for terms that are above and beyond what the salesperson is permitted to offer, etc., who has to be the one to tell them that they're not going to get it?

If you said the salesperson, you're fired. (How did you even get this job, anyway?)

A salesperson never says no. Sales managers say no.  That's a major part of what they're paid to do - set and enforce goals and limits.

This does not mean that salespeople always say yes, but what they can and should say, in order, is this:

"I can ..." and offer an alternative or, if that doesn't fly, "Let me check with my manager".

Managers are the bad guys* in this scenario. They have to be, because the sales person always has to be the good guy*. If they're not, why would the Customer ever bother talking to them again?

I'm not saying that the sales manager has to actually talk to the Customer every time some point of contention comes up, but the salesperson has to be able to say, "We will do X, but we won't do Y..." and know that their manager will back them up. The sales manager has to hire salespeople that they can trust (or train) to deliver that message in a way that ultimately leads to acquisition, growth, and/or no further pushback.

This means that the salesperson has to always say things in such a way that the Customer doesn't just try to go over their head to the sales manager. Otherwise, what are you paying the salesperson for?

You do this by agreeing in advance what the terms/boundaries are for each transaction (if not each client) and sticking to them, no matter what.

Remember: Customers like predictability/consistency. The road to that country is paved with boundaries that everyone knows and sticking to them.

* Please feel free to insert the pronoun of your choice.

The Slow Slide into Shittiness

By now in your career you've probably been employed by, hired, partnered with, or competed against a company that was bought out by another company.

Think about what they were like. Roll it around on your tongue.

If you had any experience with that acquired company prior to its acquisition, no matter what your role was at the time and no matter whether that company employed you or was one of your vendors, partners, etc., chances are that you either worked for or with or against them because they were a pretty well-run company, with something that, if pressed, you might even say you really liked about them.

Until...

They were bought up or out by another (usually larger, often older, certainly more bottom-line-focused) company and run right into the ground.

It might have taken awhile, but the first signs appeared early - layoffs, management changes, mass defections, and release dates for new products and/or services either pushed back (often more than once) or shelved, with the PR folks spinning an endless cloud of vague language to try and downplay the fact that the company you liked better was now circling the drain.

The reason for this is because almost all acquisitions take place in order to grow the buyer's market share. They completely ignore what made the target company attractive enough to become a target in the first place: Customers. Loyal Customers.

When you buy a company, unless it's carved out in the legalese as a sop to the original owner(s), you get the whole thing: IP, products, employees, property, documentation, goodwill, history, and on and on. But if you only walk away with their Customer list (perhaps chopping up the rest to sell down-market) and somehow believe that those Customers are now yours, you haven't been paying attention to corporate acquisitions over the past century or so.

Something about the acquired company appealed to those Customers. It might have been their products, or how great their rep was, or their lower cost, ease of use, simple terms, terrific service, culture, inclusiveness, processes, or a hundred other things. Or (most often) a mash-up of all of those things.

The company doing the buying typically has a culture that is focused on acquisition. That's how they got so big in the first place. But as they acquire Customer lists and discard the rest, those Customers jump ship to the next company to come along that offers all of the things that were jettisoned in a race to instant gratification and the bottom line.

During due diligence, as you're looking over the books of the company that you want to acquire and figuring out how to make them part of you by forcing them to be you, with your people and methods and rules, why not do this:

• Have each of your department managers spend time with the managers and crews of the company that you are buying. Not an afternoon. A solid two weeks at least. Not to explain your company's way of doing things, but to specifically look for things that they do better than you do.
• Record everything you see and hear.
• Take all of that knowledge - that you are paying for, by the way, and now own - back to your own company. Map it against how you do things. Figure out how to adopt the things that they do better. Even if it means - horrors! - changing things in your company.
• Start doing things the new way, before the acquisition is complete, or it will never happen.
• Don't let everyone who isn't in sales leave. People are more often than not what made that company great - their knowledge, experience, ideas, attitudes, excitement. I understand that you can't and don't necessarily want to hire everyone. There are always redundancies. But what if their HR Manager or one of their line workers or IT people is better than one of yours? Trade up!

Most acquisitive companies tend to take a Darwinian view: We must be the better company, this line of thinking goes, because we're acquiring them. But this completely ignores the fact that acquisitions aren't why most companies exist. When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

When you've paid all that money for another company, why leave so much of value on the table? Or, worse yet, there for the taking by a competitor with a wider view and a long-term vision?

Hey, it's your money; do what you want. I just (used to) work here.

Setting Up an Auto Service Business Development Center

Staffing

Our Service BDC does all inbound/outbound service calls. We also have a Sales BDC that handles all inbound/outbound sales calls.

In addition to the calls that they are paid for (see below), our Service BDC reps also follow up on reservation no shows. Our current no-show rate is about 6%, down from a high of 15% that occurred before we changed our reminder emails/texts (which now go out at the time the Customer makes the reservation, the night before their reservation, and the morning of).

Conversica has also proven useful as a data mining/contact tool. Our results have declined, but the volume of reservations that it generates is still very reasonable for the cost. We just wish that it was able to text Customers, as we find that far more effective than emails or calls.

Metrics

• Answer speed: 94% on the first ring. 100% by 3rd ring.
• Abandon rate: Less than 4%.
• Outbound calls/texts per day: Minimum of 120. Texts are better than calls – they get many more responses.
• Reservations per day: Minimum of 20/rep, goal of 30.

Breakdown of reservations

• 50% as the result of outbound calls
• 20% online
• 20% Service Advisors
• 10% combination of email and snail mail

Necessary Resources

• I highly recommend having a call recording system to playback calls and for training– at least 90 days of storage, ability to track calls by extension, ability to forward calls as .wav files, and ability to generate reports that show call length, successful/unsuccessful outgoing calls, and wait time
• Booking system – The same system has to be used by the BDC and by the Service Advisors; BDC reps must be able to leave notes that the Service Advisors can see, and the BDC reps must be able to see recommended services, including quoted prices; the booking system must be able to report on volume by date, rep, show/no show, service(s) performed
• ACD Reports – answer speed, abandon rate, call volume by day of week, date, time of day (to help figure out staffing), wait time (to corroborate with recording system)

Training
We give each of our BDC reps a training manual. It contains our scripts, a phone operation manual, breakdowns of our processes, a reference guide, maintenance service guide and prices, contact list of Motorcars employees, our department’s priorities and philosophy, and a set of flashcards. We use the flashcards as a fun way to train new reps on questions that they won’t likely get very often but should still know the answers to (see below, after Scripts).

We also have up-to-the-minute versions of all of this – plus the schedules of all employees – in the cloud (Google Drive).

A typical new hire shadows the entire team and begins to make outbound calls within 2 weeks, and inbound calls within 4 weeks. Because there is so much to know, we would rather they learn things well, rather than quickly.

Outbound Calls/Lists

• No shows
• Declined services
• Collect updated email addresses, textable phone numbers
• Purchased recall lists
• Sold not serviced
• ToyotaCare (each cycle, plus late, ToyotaCare Plus, and Toyota ServiceCare)

Compensation
We have a daily spiff to drive the next day’s reservations. The spiff is paid out to every member of the team, and starts at a combined total of 70 reservations for the following day:

• Less than 70 reservations = $0.00
• 70 reservations = $12.50
• 80 reservations = $15.00
• 90 reservations = $18.75
• 100 reservations or more = $25.00

The team can see where they are constantly throughout the day by checking the Workbook in Xtime, and I tell them how much money they have in their ‘bank’ every time it goes up. This has proven to be a winning strategy – everyone makes extra calls to get over the next hump.

Outbound Campaigns

Conquests

• $7.50 for Customers 9 to 16 months without service
• $10.00 for Customers more than 16 months without service
• Recalls – Payout per ‘show’ for proactive outbound contact - $5.00
• ToyotaCare - $0.75 for each ‘show’
• ToyotaCare Plus - $20 for each credit card number collected
• Toyota Service Care - $10 for each credit card number collected

Detail Center

• Complete Detail - $12.00
• Interior Detail - $6.00
• Exterior Detail - $6.00
• Pet Hair Removal - $2.00
• Floor Shampoo - $2.00
• Seat Shampoo - $2.00
• Exterior High-Speed Buffing - $3.00
• Engine Clean & Degrease - $2.00
• Rubbing Compound - $5.00
• Steam Clean Dashboard - $2.00
• Ionizer - $3.00
• Add Fresh Air Scents - $2.00

Recommended Services

• Alignment - $5.00
• Battery - $5.00
• Brakes - $5.00
• Tires - $10

Marketing Plan

We have found that our most successful campaigns have several traits in common:

• They are a combination of email, postcards, and outbound calls.
• They are narrowly targeted – not ‘shotgun’ ads. For example, there are 5 different ToyotaCare email templates – one for each of the 5 services – plus one to transition Customers to ToyotaCare Plus and another to get all Customers, regardless of brand or model year, onto Toyota ServiceCare.
• As a rule, our eBlasts and postcards rarely feature pictures of cars. Instead, we use humor, children, single panel comics, puppies, kittens, and images of the folks who work at our stores. ‘Dad’ humor seems to work best.

Scripts

Incoming Call

• Thank you for choosing Motorcars. This is ___________ speaking and I can help you!
• My pleasure, I’ll be happy to assist you with this.
• Please allow me to gather some personal information from you. May I have your home telephone number?
• (If Customer does not appear under the phone number given, let them know, and ask if they have brought vehicle in for service before.)
• (If yes, thank them for being a loyal Customer and try to find them by last name.)
• (If no, thank them for the opportunity to earn their business and create a Customer profile for them in XTime.)
• Which vehicle is your call regarding? (Year/Make/Model)
• (If Honda) What service codes appear on your Maintenance Minder?
• (If Toyota) Your next recommended maintenance service is XXX. Is this the service that you wish to schedule?
• (Check Dealer Daily for Toyota recalls. If there are open recalls, let the Customer know, and ask if they wish to have them taken care of during their visit.)
• Anything else that you’d like us to check out, since it’s coming in anyway? We also offer complete Detail services, if you would like to schedule that at the same time.
• Will you be arranging your own transportation or taking advantage of our shuttle service? (Unless oil change or other Waiter. If the concern is an electrical concern of any kind, it must be a drop off. The Customer’s SA will be able to give the Customer a good idea of how long it will take once the technician has an opportunity to see the vehicle.)
• What day works best for you?
• Let me check our service calendar for a convenient drop off time… We have an opening on ______ (day) at ______ (time) - will that work for you?
• What email address/textable phone number may we send your confirmation to?
• We have you scheduled to meet with your Service Advisor at ____AM/PM on _____ (day). You will be meeting with _______________. Our goal is to complete your visit in roughly XX hours, but your Service Advisor will be able to give you an exact time when they check in your vehicle.
• (If new Customer, explain service drive and shuttle process.)
• Again, my name is ____________and if for any reason you need to reschedule, will you please give us a call?
• Have I answered all of your questions and provided you with excellent service today?
• Thank you for calling and have a great day!

Declined Service(s)

If You Get Voicemail
Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars. Please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thank you! Have a great day.

If a Human Being Answers
Hello, this is __________ calling from Motorcars. Is __________ available?

Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars. Your Service Advisor recommended some work during your most recent visit, and I’m calling today to schedule your reservation.

We have an opening today at __________. Will this work for you, or would another day be better?

If They Push Back
I understand. Do you mind letting me know what obstacle we might be able to help with?

If It’s About the Cost
I realize that this might be an unexpected expense. If it will help, we have a special coming up next week on (depending upon which service was declined):
Alignment - $95.96 (normally $119.95)
Brakes - Save $50

We also offer a deferred interest credit card that allows you to take up to 6 months to pay for any work that you have done. It can also be applied to needed parts, such as tires and so on. Would this be helpful to you?

IF IT’S ABOUT BEING WITHOUT A CAR (only applies to brake jobs)
If it will help, I can offer a 1-day rental at no cost to you while you have this work done.

IF YES
Great! What I’m going to do is to schedule your reservation and I’ll add a note to your Service Advisor, so they’ll know about this.

(Make sure you schedule them with the same Advisor who made the original quote.)

IF NO
That’s fine. When you are ready to schedule this service, please let me know. My name is __________ and you can reach me at XXX-XXX-XXXX ext XXX. Is there anything else that we can help you with today? (Pause) Thank you! Have a great day.

No Show Follow Up

Hello, this is _____ calling from Motorcars. The reason I’m calling is that it looks like you may have missed your recent service visit. We understand – life happens.

Would you prefer to reschedule in the daytime, evening, or on a Saturday?

I have 3 times open on __________ … one at __________, one at __________, and one at __________. Which is best?

Great! I have you scheduled on AT . We have you scheduled for . Is there anything else that you wish to add?

Excellent, we’ll see you at ON . Have a great day!

IF THEY PUSH BACK
I understand. When you’re ready to reschedule, just call us back at XXX-XXX-XXXX. We look forward to seeing you again soon!

Recall Script
If You Get Voicemail
Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars about an urgent safety recall.

Please call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX extension XXX. Thank you!

If a Human Being Answers
Hello, this is __________ calling from Motorcars. Is __________ available?

Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars. Your vehicle is subject to a safety recall by Honda/Toyota, and I’m calling today to schedule this service. This service is intended to improve the safety and reliability of your vehicle, and it’s completely free to you. If you like, we can schedule the recall service at the same time as your next maintenance service.

We have an opening today at __________. Will this work for you, or would another day be better?

If They Push Back
In addition to improving the safety and reliability of your vehicle, Honda/Toyota requires this service to remain compliant with your vehicle’s warranty.

Would an evening or weekend reservation work better for you?

ToyotaCare

If a Human Being Answers
“Hello, this is __________ calling from Motorcars Toyota. Is __________ available?

Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars Toyota to schedule your ToyotaCare service. This is a free maintenance service that we provide that includes everything but air filters and wiper inserts for the first 2 years that you own your vehicle. We have an opening at __________ on __________. Will this work for you, or would a little later be better?”

If You Get Voicemail
“Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars Toyota to schedule your FREE ToyotaCare service. Please call me at __________ ext. __________ to schedule this service. I’ll be happy to help. Thank you!”

ToyotaCare Plus

If a Human Being Answers
“Hello, this is __________ calling from Motorcars Toyota. Is __________ available?

Hello, __________, this is __________ calling from Motorcars Toyota to schedule your next maintenance service. I see that your ToyotaCare service plan is about to expire/has expired. Would you like to extend your ToyotaCare coverage?

Extending your ToyotaCare will extend your coverage for maintenance for an additional 2 years. This will cover your first major service, which is normally $160. It will also cover 3 additional services after that. Extending your plan will also extend your roadside coverage for an additional 2 years. This covers flat tires, no starts, running out of gas, and they will get you to the nearest Toyota dealership anywhere in the United States.

There are 2 ways that you can extend your ToyotaCare. One is to pay the total amount of $329 plus tax.”

If They Say No
“That’s fine. Let’s go ahead and schedule your next maintenance reservation.” (Continue with service scheduling process.)

When They Say Yes
“Excellent! Let’s go ahead and schedule your service, and then I’ll take your credit card information so that we can extend your ToyotaCare coverage.”

F*ck President's Club

Look, we get it: Salespeople are like puppies - they like to be praised. But they already make more money than almost anyone else in the company. Do they really need another paid vacation, too? And one that's better than anything the folks in the rest of the company will ever be able to afford?

If you're going to tell the non-sales folks that they're equally important, don't make it so obvious that you don't really believe that.

What's that? You include a token few non-salespeople among the celebrants, nominated by their manager or a consensus of managers? Bully for you. Now you're just rubbing everyone's face in the fact that you play favorites, too.

Either pick one person per department or - more sensibly - eliminate this ridiculous expense. Of course salespeople beat their goal. That's their job! Their reward is a fat paycheck!

President's Club is nothing more than a participation trophy for the folks that Management likes. Everyone knows that. They talk about it the entire time you're gone. Instead of working. And they hate you for it, and they hate Sales for it, even though it's not Sales' fault.

It's yours.

The View from the Back of the Room

The next time that you attend a conference or large meeting - especially if a new idea or plan will be introduced - do yourself and your organization a favor and sit at the back of the room. Then watch the other attendees carefully. Some body language is fairly obvious. Some, not so much.

• If they frequently look to the attendees seated to their left or right, it's likely that they disagree with what is being said and are looking to see if their peers agree.
• If they look at their phones... well, this one's pretty obvious.
• If they sit up straight well into the talk or meeting, they are engaged, but the engagement may be positive or negative.
• Are several of them slouching? Engagement is probably low.
• If they fidget and move around as the talk or meeting goes on, they likely feel the material covered is something that they already know and their time is being wasted.
• If there are some who look down a lot and don't appear to be on their phones, it may be due to pent-up hostility.
• If they appear to be doing a lot of writing, and the event is not a class or lecture, it is likely they are completely disengaged and are doing other work.

Eating as Behavior Encouragement

Have a team member who is absent more than you’d like? Buy lunch for everyone on the day they don’t show up, and only that day.

Repeat if necessary (it probably won’t be).

Machiavelli May Have Had a Point

Want someone to improve at a particular KPI? Walk up and thank them for it. Not when they get better - now. Don’t mention the number or whether it’s good or bad - just thank them for it.

The first thing they’ll do is run back to their desk to see what you’re talking about. If the number isn’t terrible, they’ll be sure to improve it, because everyone wants to be a hero - especially in their own eyes.

If the number IS terrible, they’ll assume you were being sarcastic, and that you are watching them like a hawk. Either way, performance will improve. If it doesn’t, they are almost certainly planning to jump ship.

Plan accordingly.

"When I Was at X, We Used to Y..."

Suppose you throw a party, and a friend of one of your guests starts off a conversation like this:

"The last party I went to, they had little Beef Wellingtons on tapas plates. Do you have little Beef Wellingtons on tapas plates? You should really look into that, because they're delicious. They also had this really cool game that we all played; it was a riot! What activities do you have planned?"

How likely are you to invite this schmuck to your next party - or the friend that brought them?

Believe it or not, many folks* who move from one company to another do this exact same thing, oblivious to how rude and condescending they sound. Sure, you want to share your expertise, experience, and problem-solving skills, but you're missing 2 key words from the end of that sentence:

...when appropriate.

It's fine to suggest new ideas. It's even fine to suggest old ideas, if you think you know enough about the issue to understand it from your new co-workers' perspective. Usually, though, we don't. We talk when we should be listening and absorbing. As a newbie, that's your main job. If someone asks for your opinion, fine - but don't mention what you did at your old employer or who they were. At best, it comes off as grandstanding. At worst... well, if you don't know, this article is definitely for you.

Even when you do voice an opinion - when appropriate - it's always best to couch it in a way that leaves room for a conversation. Maybe this:

"I'm guessing that you probably already tried Y. How did that work?"

First, you're giving the other person credit for probably thinking of and trying the obvious solution(s). Second, you're acknowledging their expertise by asking for their observations regarding the result. Third, you're establishing that you don't have all the answers, but you're willing to roll up your sleeves and work on it together.

Popping back to our party guest metaphor, the new employee who does this is the one who runs out for beer/wine when you're low, offers to drive the really drunk guest home, and helps clean up afterward.

Those are the folks who get invited to every party.

*Guilty as charged - but I'm much better now.

Depth Charges

Every task should be done by the least expensive person who is capable of performing that task effectively and efficiently.

In other words, if you are an IT Manager who spends 4 or 5 hours to save the company $200 on its monthly phone bill, you have actually cost the company money... plus avoided doing the job that you are actually paid to do.

In the end, it's all about effective delegation. If you can't do it, you can't look yourself in the mirror and call yourself a manager.

1, 2, Many, Lots

Today I want to talk about donuts and something called the density bias, with thanks to Ted Riolo for starting the discussion.

Human brains are hard-wired to perceive the world and process information a certain way. Because of this, there are countless ways to trick your brain. A good example of that is brain freeze. When the roof of your mouth drops below a certain temperature, your brain assumes that you’re freezing to death, and opens up as many blood vessels as possible. That extra pressure is what makes your head hurt. Part of the reason that people seem more attractive when you're drunk is that alcohol blocks your brain's ability to determine a lack of facial symmetry - one of the key factors in human sex appeal.

There are ways to trick your brain to behave a certain way even without freezing it or drowning it in alcohol. As you may have heard, one of Motorcars' new business ventures is Daylight Donuts & Coffee, and there’s an aspect of the donut business that illustrates an interesting fact about how our brains work.

The retina of our eyes is actually part of our brain. Because of that, our brains - and the brains of all primates - are hard-wired to perceive quantity in a certain way. It works like this:

We can instantly recognize up to 4 of something at a glance, but our brain automatically estimates any number of items greater more than that. It’s not that we can’t count higher than 4 – of course we can – but we tend to make errors of judgement when confronted with quantities beyond that number. There’s even a joke about this that’s actually true for apes, and is one of the things that sets us apart from them: For a chimpanzee, numbers go ‘1, 2, many, lots’. Their brain can only discern quantities up to about 3 of something, so at least we’re one step up from that.

And in a roundabout way, that brings us to donuts. All primates are hard-wired with a bias toward quantity over surface volume. What this means is that you will spend more money to buy 5 or more donut holes than to buy the same net weight of donuts, because your brain is convinces you that the number of food items is more important than their size.

Brain manipulation happens all the time, and we’re completely unaware of it. As you might have guessed, grocery stores - with their tiny profit margins - are among the best at it. For an example, check this out the next time you’re at the grocery store – especially if you shop at a higher-end store:

You may notice that the size of the floor tiles change from one part of the store to another. If they do, I bet that the tiles are much smaller in the parts of the store where the store makes the most profit per item – the deli, the meat counter, and the wine rack. The reason for this is that we subconsciously hear the sound of our cart’s wheels click when they roll over each tile, and making the tiles smaller makes us slow down. The more we slow down, the more likely we are to browse and buy items that make the store more money.

If you’re interested in finding out more about how to price donuts – or anything else - by volume, I’ve included a link that explains the difference between all unit and incremental pricing: https://www.cleverbridge.com/corporate/volume-pricing-strategies-digital-goods/

The Culture of No

Today I want to talk about the Culture of No.

The Culture of No comes into play when we explain to a Customer why we can’t help them.

We are almost always polite when we tell a Customer no. We speak in calm, measured tones, with a sympathetic look on our faces, and sometimes a shrug that says “Whaddayagonnado?”

You know what? Customers don’t give a damn why we can’t do something. All they see is that we are an obstacle to getting what they need or want. And what do you do with an obstacle?

You go around it. If they have more aggressive personalities, they might ask to talk to your manager. If they think that you weren’t really listening, or you’re the second or third person that they’ve told their story to, they might even ask to talk to your department head... or, later, your corporate attorney.

Most people don’t have that kind of personality, though. Most people hang up. Then they go somewhere else. Forever. And they tell everyone on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on and on to do the same.

The Culture of No is a trap – for a business, a fatal trap. There’s only one way out: Find a way to say yes.

The Culture of Yes takes more work. You have to offer alternatives – would you prefer this, or this?, Or teach yourself to say “We probably can’t do that, but we can do this – does this work for you?”

The Culture of Yes takes creativity, and flexibility. Which is a good thing, because an inflexible person is often a corpse, and an inflexible business almost always becomes one.

Everybody Knows

Tell me if you've heard this one before: Millennials are self-entitled.

How about this one: Trump supporters are racist.

Or this one: Religious fundamentalists are poorly educated.

Depending upon your own generational, political, or religious bent, you probably feel that 'everybody knows' at least one of these statements. If not, I'm certain that we can find one that resonates, because one of the things that our hyper-pattern-aware species is terrific at is categorization. We evolved to think that when caveman Erg died after eating red berries, all red berries from that point on were suspect, and that when a patch of tall grass rustled right before Erg's wife, Yrt, got dragged off by a saber-tooth, rustling of any kind meant spears up and put the kids in the center of the circle.

'Everybody Knows', besides being one of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs, is useful when you have little or no control over your environment, or when you simply lack data. The problem with it as an ongoing practice for a species that has Google, tasers, and cookbooks is the same thing that was always the problem: It only applies a certain percentage of the time, and that percentage shrinks as the data set grows. When you're talking about data sets the size of half of the U.S. electorate, a generation that is now almost 50% of the population, or a major religion, the stereotypes 'everybody knows' don't apply to literally millions of people in each of those groups.

As uncomfortable as data-mining makes some people, one of its biggest advantages is that it finally makes it possible to treat each person - each Customer - as an individual. Rather than communicating offers that a given Customer may or may not be interested in via shotgun snail mail coupons, we can gather enough information - in most cases, at little or no cost - to determine exactly what will appeal to each Customer, when, and at what price point. All that it takes is effort... and a complete change to how most organizations approach marketing.

To be heard in an age when our competitors are already probably ahead of us, even how we communicate our messages has to be individualized. How many mailbox ads do you even read before you put them in the trash? Some Customers want to be told things in person, some via email, some by phone, others by text. Deciding to communicate with all Customers in just one way is just as ineffective as making no change: a large percentage will not hear you at all.

Why waste all that time and money? That's like spending all of your money on local television, newspaper, or radio ads to reach Customers who get most of their information and entertainment online.

Remember the 3 fundamentals of keeping Customers:

• Timeliness
• Perfection
• Individualized experience

Customers love to tell us what they want, like us when we listen, and stay when we offer what they need.

Why?

In nearly every company that I have been privileged to work for, it has amazed me how little forethought is given to the ripples caused by major decisions - something that I take for granted. At first, I thought that it must be a cultural thing - the best leaders are the most decisive ones, right? But over the years it's become clear that few business people have any idea how to think beyond the immediate consequences of an action. In fact, many find the idea so alien that it makes them physically uncomfortable. In short, they squirm like a worm under a magnifying glass.

Doesn't anyone play chess any more? Or Monopoly?

The formal process of the 5 Why's was developed by Sakichi Toyoda, founder of Toyota Motor Corporation, to find the root cause of product defects. A shortened version (the 3 Why's) was later all the rage for goal-setting and so on, but then seemed to disappear, even though the root idea is the foundation of any successful organization: constant self-examination.

However many you choose, the Why's lead you to the underlying truth of any process, issue, person, goal, and on and on. They require nothing more than a commitment to acting like the average 3-year-old. Here's an example:

• We need a new CRM program.
• Why?
• Because our old CRM program doesn't help us close enough sales.
• Why?
• Because our sales reps don't use it.
• Why?
• Because we don't hold them accountable for using it.
• Why?
• Because we're afraid that, if we hold them accountable, they might leave.
• Why?
• Because we don't know how to lead them properly, and it's hard to do, and we're afraid they'll stop liking us if we do.

The wonderful thing about the question 'Why?' is that it can and always should be asked until it meets bone, because doing anything else is throwing up your hands and admitting that you aren't ready to play at the pro level, and probably never will be. 'Why?' forces you to think as much about the Law of Unintended Consequences as it does about motivation (or the lack thereof).

Here's another:

• We're going to change this process.
• Why?
• Because the old process is inefficient.
• Why?
• Because no one has time to do it that way any more.
• Why?
• Because they are already spending too much time on another process that we recently changed, but which doesn't seem to be working as well as we'd hoped.
• Why?
• Probably because we didn't ask ourselves 'Why?' enough times before making that decision.

Besides telling you the truth, another nice thing about 'Why' is that it's inherently private; no one has to hear you talk yourself out of a bad idea. In fact, if you do it right, you're laying the ground work for rejecting other people's bad ideas by figuring out what's wrong with them (and what the real issue is) in advance.

Don't get me wrong - 'Why?' is not about finding excuses to shoot something down. Any change that is truly needed easily stands up to the scrutiny of 'Why?', plus builds its own framework on the way, no matter how departmentally locked-in things start out:

• We're going to create and launch an expensive new marketing campaign.
• Why?
• Because we have a new product.
• Why?
• Because our research indicates that there is room and a need for it in the market.
• Why?
• Because it will decrease the amount of time that people have to spend cleaning up pet poop.
• Why?
• Because our new product instantly turns any pet poop into biodegradable fertilizer.

Really? Spend away! We're all going to be millionaires!

Remember: Business is not a game. There are sharks everywhere, always, and if you don't learn how to see around the next 3 to 5 corners in advance, you end up as fish food.

Shameless Hucksterism

'Work Iz War', the blog, has given birth to 'Work Iz War', the book, now available on Amazon.

Manager or Supervisor?

Give some thought to this:

• Do you ever suggest-but-not-really-because-it's-more-like-you-insist that one of your direct reports hire someone?
• Do you ever tell them that you don't want them to hire someone?

If you have ever done either of these, no matter what your direct report's title is, you have turned them into a supervisor.

A supervisor supervises daily work that is defined by someone else. A manager decides what the work is. They also have the power to hire and fire. Take that away, and they're not a manager any more. And the moment their direct reports know that - whether you want to or not - you take on being that team's manager, because they won't bother to go to the supervisor for anything any more. Why should they? You've taken all of that former manager's power away.

If you don't trust a manager to hire or fire people, you have the wrong manager. Fire them. If you don't trust anyone else to hire and fire, you've created a hierarchy with just 2 levels: you, and everyone else. There are some profound ramifications to that:

• Your managers won't own the success or failure of their team members. Why should they? They didn't even get to decide who those team members are.
• Your managers' direct reports will come to you whenever they get a 'no' from their manager. Congratulations! Mom said no, so now they go to dad. You've turned your organization into a dysfunctional family, just like you always dreamed about.
• Turnover: If your managers' direct reports aren't owned by their manager, they won't get what they need. People who don't get what they need leave. And guess what? Managers who find out that they're not really managers leave, too, to go work for organizations where they can be managers. Which is most of them.

The solution: Let go! You hired managers to do what you are either bad at or don't have the bandwidth to do. Let them be managers, for Pete's sake. And if they fail, give them some encouragement and talk it through with them. If they don't improve, replace them. If they do, congratulations - you have an hierarchy that works.

Mirror, Mirror

Today we’re going to talk about the human brain. Our brains are hard-wired to behave certain ways and to recognize and seek out certain patterns, even if we’re not conscious of it. For example, we’re automatically attracted to people who have symmetrical faces, no matter where we’re from or how we were raised. We see pictures in clouds because our brains try and force a pattern onto things that don’t have any.

One of the things that our brains are hard-wired to do is to respond favorably to someone whose accent, pace, and gestures mirror our own. A recent study found that salespeople who observed and mirrored how quickly or slowly their Customers spoke, their accents, and their hand gestures were 5 times as likely to close the sale as salespeople who did not. This is because our brains are hard-wired to trust someone who talks and acts like we do – no matter what their age, sex, or ethnic background is.

Try this when you speak with Customers – and remember that your company's employees are internal Customers. If the person that you’re talking to speaks a little slower than you do, slow down. If they cross their arms when they speak, do the same thing. Have you ever noticed that Hillary Clinton’s accent changes depending upon where she’s speaking? She does that on purpose – and many other politicians and other public figures do, too.

When Customers are tense, such as when something costs more than they were expecting or we have to deliver unhappy news, mirroring helps to ease the tension. It tells the Customer, “We’re just like you. We’re on your side. We’re going to help.”

Sales and Customer service are all about communication – learning to speak all of our Customers’ languages. The better we learn to mirror their pace, accents, and gestures, the more successful we’ll be.

Pin the Tail on the Donkey

"Hey, Dave, do me a favor - tell your team not to tell Customers that they can X if they have a Y."

"Who told a Customer that?"

"I don't want to say; I don't want to get anyone in trouble."

"Okay. Can you give me the Customer's name? I can work backwards from that."

"Can't you just send around an email or something?"

No. No, no, no.

First, because if that actually worked, they would have gotten it right to start with. Second, it's clear that only one person is getting it wrong. Why waste the time of team members who already get it right? Are we deliberately trying to kill their morale?

There are a lot of things wrong with our current Avoidance Culture, and one of the worst is not trying to correct a problem at its source. If anything less than the entire team is getting something wrong, it's an abdication of your responsibility as their manager if you don't sit them down, face to face, and say: "This is something that you need to correct."

"But it's hard!" you cry. "I don't want to hurt their feelings!"

How will they feel when their bad habits accumulate to the point that you have to let them go, when you've given them no indication that they were doing anything wrong? Is that fair? Is it right? And how will your HR staff feel when that dismissed employee turns around and litigates? As far as they knew, everything was peachy.

If there is an issue, it's your job to coach your employee regarding how to correct it. Yes, they still have to do the heavy lifting, but you're not doing your job if you don't even tell them where the log jam is.

You Can't Change Customers

Where did the Muppets go wrong?

If you saw the Muppets' latest TV outing, chances are pretty good that you were repelled. Aside from trying to turn the characters that we grew up with and loved into something that they're not - tabloid-worthy - the show failed because it tried to change us. We don't want to think of Kermit and Miss Piggy as sleazy paparazzi-bait. We want to forever believe that they represent what we really hope we are.

Buried deep in all of us is a hard-wired monkey brain that hates change. When asked what we believe and polled about what we want, we routinely lie. Our response to gun violence is a perfect example: If as many of us were against mass shootings as the polls suggest, there would already be universal background checks.

It's not what we say that matters - it's what we do.

Rod Serling understood that; the Twilight Zone was nothing if not a textbook of human behavior. All of the best storytellers have an innate grasp of what we are - Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Winston Churchill, and even Donald Trump. They lead not by trying to steer us in a certain direction, but by finding out where we want to go and pointing the way.

Any venture that contains the words "We'll get them to..." fails. The secret to selling anything, whether it's a product, an idea, a service, or a persona, is to find out where your Customers are already going and beat them there.

Do anything else, and you'll wind up alone in a cul-de-sac.

The Culture of Can't

Resistance to change is a natural, programmed human response. As a rule, people hate change, and will go to ridiculous lengths to avoid it. They create a Culture of Can't, and present excuse after excuse for why change is not only a bad idea, but downright impossible.

But change is necessary and healthy - it helps us adapt to ever-changing conditions - and resistance to change has a cost.

In the days before Mount St. Helens erupted, the authorities and the folks who lived nearby were told by volcanologist David Johnston - a scientist who had studied the mountain for years - how devastating the inevitable eruption would be. He told them that it was going to explode with the force of a nuclear weapon. He said that it would release rivers of mud, avalanches of snow, and super-heated ash at hundreds of miles an hour, killing anyone in the area.

The local government still took weeks to decide to close the park - and tried to reopen it again when the eruption didn't happen right away. 54 people who lived near the mountain refused to leave. Most of their bodies were never recovered. That included David Johnston, who was in an area that was thought to be relatively safe.

Change happens; it's how the universe works. There is nothing that anyone can do to prevent it. The trick is to find a way to make change work in your favor - to create a Culture of Can. Instead of wasting your time and energy pushing back or dragging your feet, pick the change apart to find the opportunities that it presents. If you dig, there are diamonds in that mud. You want to be the one who finds them before someone else does.

Because there is always a volcano, a change in the social or political landscape, an asteroid, a disease, or a predatory competitor more than happy to make you extinct.