F*ck President's Club

Look, we get it: Salespeople are like puppies - they like to be praised. But they already make more money than almost anyone else in the company. Do they really need another paid vacation, too? And one that's better than anything the folks in the rest of the company will ever be able to afford?

If you're going to tell the non-sales folks that they're equally important, don't make it so obvious that you don't really believe that.

What's that? You include a token few non-salespeople among the celebrants, nominated by their manager or a consensus of managers? Bully for you. Now you're just rubbing everyone's face in the fact that you play favorites, too.

Either pick one person per department or - more sensibly - eliminate this ridiculous expense. Of course salespeople beat their goal. That's their job! Their reward is a fat paycheck!

President's Club is nothing more than a participation trophy for the folks that Management likes. Everyone knows that. They talk about it the entire time you're gone. Instead of working. And they hate you for it, and they hate Sales for it, even though it's not Sales' fault.

It's yours.

"When I Was at X, We Used to Y..."

Suppose you throw a party, and a friend of one of your guests starts off a conversation like this:

"The last party I went to, they had little Beef Wellingtons on tapas plates. Do you have little Beef Wellingtons on tapas plates? You should really look into that, because they're delicious. They also had this really cool game that we all played; it was a riot! What activities do you have planned?"

How likely are you to invite this schmuck to your next party - or the friend that brought them?

Believe it or not, many folks* who move from one company to another do this exact same thing, oblivious to how rude and condescending they sound. Sure, you want to share your expertise, experience, and problem-solving skills, but you're missing 2 key words from the end of that sentence:

...when appropriate.

It's fine to suggest new ideas. It's even fine to suggest old ideas, if you think you know enough about the issue to understand it from your new co-workers' perspective. Usually, though, we don't. We talk when we should be listening and absorbing. As a newbie, that's your main job. If someone asks for your opinion, fine - but don't mention what you did at your old employer or who they were. At best, it comes off as grandstanding. At worst... well, if you don't know, this article is definitely for you.

Even when you do voice an opinion - when appropriate - it's always best to couch it in a way that leaves room for a conversation. Maybe this:

"I'm guessing that you probably already tried Y. How did that work?"

First, you're giving the other person credit for probably thinking of and trying the obvious solution(s). Second, you're acknowledging their expertise by asking for their observations regarding the result. Third, you're establishing that you don't have all the answers, but you're willing to roll up your sleeves and work on it together.

Popping back to our party guest metaphor, the new employee who does this is the one who runs out for beer/wine when you're low, offers to drive the really drunk guest home, and helps clean up afterward.

Those are the folks who get invited to every party.

*Guilty as charged - but I'm much better now.

Mirror, Mirror

Today we’re going to talk about the human brain. Our brains are hard-wired to behave certain ways and to recognize and seek out certain patterns, even if we’re not conscious of it. For example, we’re automatically attracted to people who have symmetrical faces, no matter where we’re from or how we were raised. We see pictures in clouds because our brains try and force a pattern onto things that don’t have any.

One of the things that our brains are hard-wired to do is to respond favorably to someone whose accent, pace, and gestures mirror our own. A recent study found that salespeople who observed and mirrored how quickly or slowly their Customers spoke, their accents, and their hand gestures were 5 times as likely to close the sale as salespeople who did not. This is because our brains are hard-wired to trust someone who talks and acts like we do – no matter what their age, sex, or ethnic background is.

Try this when you speak with Customers – and remember that your company's employees are internal Customers. If the person that you’re talking to speaks a little slower than you do, slow down. If they cross their arms when they speak, do the same thing. Have you ever noticed that Hillary Clinton’s accent changes depending upon where she’s speaking? She does that on purpose – and many other politicians and other public figures do, too.

When Customers are tense, such as when something costs more than they were expecting or we have to deliver unhappy news, mirroring helps to ease the tension. It tells the Customer, “We’re just like you. We’re on your side. We’re going to help.”

Sales and Customer service are all about communication – learning to speak all of our Customers’ languages. The better we learn to mirror their pace, accents, and gestures, the more successful we’ll be.

Titles

If you remember nothing else about change management, remember this:

Language = Culture

I'm not a fan of what George Carlin used to call 'soft language'. This applies to titles just as much as it does to processes and departments. In fact, wherever I go, I like to sort out my Sales teams into the following groups:

• Hunters - Business Development, Outside Sales, Field Sales, etc. But their job is to hunt, right? Go out there and get us new Customers. Can't do that? You're not a Hunter.
• Farmers - Account Managers, Inside Sales, Sales Associates, etc. Once we've got a Customer, it's a Farmer's job to grow how much spend. The moment that number stops growing, they stop being a Farmer and start being an expense.
• Caregivers - Customer Service, Sales Assistants, Service Coordinators, etc. Their real job is to retain Customers, right? But it's possible to service a Customer and still not care, and that just won't cut it any more. There are dozens of other organizations out there calling 'your' Customers every day, and you'll lose them in a heartbeat if your reps don't care, and make it clear that your organization cares.

One organization that I worked for was fine with the idea of calling the folks in these groups by these names internally, but horrified by the idea of using them in front of Customers. Why? Isn't that what these folks do? Isn't this what we do and should expect from them? What's wrong with Customers being aware of that? Where's the harm in honesty?

Think about this: Every organization that you work for in your career has an org chart. The org chart's purpose, at least in theory, is to show your organization's reporting structure - the chain of command. This is supposed to help make it clear whom you go to for what. But isn't your first 3 to 6 months in any organization as much about learning what that org chart really means as it is about learning the job? What a waste of time!

If the titles of the people in your org chart include mouthfuls like "Vice President in Charge of Customer Advocacy", you're guilty of soft language. Guilty is the right word, too; you should be ashamed of making it so hard for people to figure out that this person is your Head Caregiver!

I know, a lot of you use titles to avoid paying people more money; calling someone 'Executive Director of Competitive Intelligence' certainly makes them feel good, doesn't it? If they were just a 'Competitive Intelligence Coordinator' before, a fancy title like that sure sounds like a promotion, doesn't it? Although the money won't change. It's all about perceived value; squeeze enough titles in there, and you can get away without a comp increase for at least 2 or 3 years, maybe even longer.

Or you can use titles to reward people you really like. They've hit the top of the pay scale for 'Internal Communications Officer', but if you change that to 'Internal Communications Manager', you can pay them an extra 10%. And isn't good management all about cronyism?

Or you can call people what they do, make it clear what their responsibilities are, and motivate them by sharing that information far and wide.

Here are some ideas. Please feel free to share your own:

• Boss
• Bean Counter
• Penny Pincher
• Maker
• Hunter
• Farmer
• Caregiver
• Fixer
• Crier
• Artist
• Whip (oh, we're gonna get comments about this one)

Chopping Up Customers

In a prior article or two, I talked about different behavioral styles and a little bit about social media. Today, we're going to tie those together and convince you to abandon ads on TV, radio, and newspapers.

First, let's talk about what those three mediums really are: shotgun marketing. You have one message, and you shoot it at the crowd that each medium's salesperson tells you they have a lock on, and then you sit back and hope that your buckshot hits enough people to at least cover the cost of the ad (you do measure that, right?).

It's easy, right? They probably even put the ad together for you, or your agency does, and everyone tells you that that's where you need to spend your money because that's where the people are. And they're right - there are people there. The problem is, those people aren't Customers. They're media salespeople and ad agencies who make a lot of money every time you produce a shotgun ad.

The problem with shotgun ads is that they're not very measurable. This is to the advantage of everyone but you. If you can't measure the results, all you have to go by is how many people buy from you in general following a campaign. How do you know that it had anything to do with your ad? And even if you have a coupon code or something similar, and your reps don't let Customers have the special even if they don't have the coupon or the code (they never do that, right?), your typical response rate is probably somewhere between 1% and 3%, and you marketing people will tell you that's good.

Missing 97% (or more) of the people we aim at is good? Since when?

The core issue is, you're trying to hit several different kinds of slippery fish with buckshot. You don't use buckshot on fish; you use bait. And each type of fish has different tastes when it comes to bait. And some like bait that floats on the surface, some like bait that moves around or has a particular scent or color or feathers or or or...

You don't need a shotgun. You need a tackle box!

The first step in fly fishing, before you ever tie a fly, is to know what kinds of fish you want to catch, and then what those fish like. That means gathering information about your Target Customers - as much as you possibly and legally can. (At this stage, not necessarily information tied to a specific person; we'll talk about that in another post.) This is the bare minimum (bearing in mind that the needs of your business may require additions):

• Age 
• Sex 
• Household Income 
• Dependents 
• Interests 
• Ethnicity 
• Sexual Orientation* 
• Sources of Information (what used to be called 'news') 
• Behavioral Style

Once you know what your Target Customer's answers are to each of these questions - and remembering that you may have more than one target Customer - you can begin to break down their demographics. (Note: The old media that I mentioned before - radio, TV, and newspapers - will try to tell you that they have demographics, too, already all broken down for you. This is a lie. At best, they have guesses and hopes, none of which are something that you should risk your revenue on.)

Now look at as much information as you have on your actual Customers. How closely do they match your Target Customer? If it's not a close match, you just learned a bunch about whoever decided what your Target Customer looks like (hope their resume is up to date). Adjust your Target Customer to more closely match your actual Customers.

Now, how many Target Customers did you come up with? If you only have one, you'd better be a military contractor, or you're in trouble. You want a minimum of three or four to sustain your business if interest in your product or service wanes in any one group (or, in the case of B2B companies, in case one of your Target Industries has a financial downturn). As a general rule, more is better.

Once you have your target Customers finalized, you can begin to break out where your marketing money should go, and how you need to rewrite your message so that it speaks in the language that each Target Customer wants to hear and how it addresses the needs that each one has.

This is called Segment Marketing, among many other names. And while it definitely takes more work and time on your part, it doesn't need to cost more than what you already waste (I can't say "spend", because I only spend money on things that benefit me) on old media marketing - and your conversion rate will show a drastic improvement. It's hard not to like something that earns more for the same investment.

And, lest you think I forgot my promise to tie in social media, check out Mashable's lovely infographic. If your brain isn't buzzing with new marketing ideas by the time you get to the bottom, it may be a good time to take a nap.


* You are not asking Customers to come out of the closet. But knowing if a gay person is a potential Target Customer for your product or service - because they tend to have more disposable income, for example - may help you decide whether or not to spend money with a gay-focused publication or event. You could just as easily add religious or political orientation, too, depending on whether or not these factors are related to your core business.

Betty White, Plato, and the Titanic

There is a natural tendency for any congregation of human beings to become insular. This is just as true for organizations and departments within those organizations as it is for states, regions, countries, religions, political groups, and on and on.

Human beings are herd animals; we always have been. We don't have thick hides, claws, or fangs. We're not particularly fast on foot or when swimming. A 3-year-old chimpanzee can literally tear our arms out of their sockets. What we do have is each other, and the need to communicate and defend each other led to big brains, an amazing aptitude for pattern recognition and, eventually, fully-formed language.

But even now, there are issues regarding the formation of effective new ideas in the face of emerging needs, threats, and appropriate responses to both. There is nothing new about this. In fact, Plato spelled the whole thing out in something called The Allegory of the Cave.

In Plato's story, a man wanders into a cave in which are imprisoned a group of people. These people are chained facing the cave wall, and have been since birth. Because of the chains, they are unable even to turn their heads. In the center of the cave, behind the prisoners, a large fire burns. As people, objects, and people carrying objects pass between the fire and the cave wall, they cast shadows on the wall that the prisoners can see. The prisoners attempt to build an explanation of the entire world, its contents, and its processes based on these distorted shadows.

The man who wanders into the cave, of course, has a lifetime of experience other than being chained to a cave wall, plus the added benefit of being able to see and accurately interpret everything he sees. From an organizational perspective, this is why it is so important to frequently engage outside consultants and to hire new employees from outside your industry. You and everyone in your organization that has been there for any length of time already see things with a very fixed lens.

New eyes are clear eyes.

The natural tendency, of course, when you hear the ideas of these new folks is to say, "That won't work, and here's why: You don't really understand our business." Those words are often the epitaph of the organization. You can only see things one way, because you are chained to the wall of your experience, and cannot see things objectively or from the outside.

Another issue regarding our hard-wired response to threats is that nature plays the odds.

In any group of people facing a mortal danger, a certain percentage will do one of the following:

• Act instantly based on recent information (10% - 15%)
• Panic and go crazy (15%)
• Stand around and do nothing (everyone else)

From a survival of the species perspective, this is a good strategy. Two of the answers will likely always be wrong, but at least one will probably be right. From nature's perspective, having enough members of a species survive to reproduce is a win. (The fact that so many people who survive a disaster tend to feel very close to each other afterward is nature's next step in this process.)

The problem is, from an organizational perspective, it is very easy for the third group to delay action until any decision no longer matters.

A good example is the town that I grew up in. When a mall opened up outside of the city limits, the downtown merchants debated for years about how to address this competition, talking the city into bringing in expensive consultant after expensive consultant with plan after plan until all of their stores closed for want of customers. What was once the center of commerce became a ghost town.

Another excellent example is the newspaper industry. Every month or so a journalist writes a new story that explains how newspapers can save themselves from extinction. The problem is, for everyone outside the newspaper industry and its dependents (such as the wire services), newspapers died a long time ago. As the new NPR CEO once said, "No one under 30 has ever read a newspaper. And they never will".

Newspapers are Abe Vigoda. They are not Betty White.

To avoid this trap, obsessively collect and listen to your metrics. Intelligence gather from your competitors and those in industries that are outside of your own, but who serve a similar Customer, or have similar business models.

Standing still while your ship sinks guarantees that you and everyone around you drowns. It is still going to sink, and an irrational belief that your ship will not sink because it never has and so it can't will not help you any more than it did the captain of the Titanic.

To survive, you must constantly adopt, adapt, and improve based on changing conditions. Action must be swift, decisive, and stem-to-stern.

Just ask T. Rex.

Working with Developers

We've previously discussed the DISC system of behavior profiling, and touched on the very real personality and language barriers that exist between departments. Nowhere is this more apparent than when working with Developers - a situation compounded by the fact that many of the most widely-used development groups today are based overseas.

It is difficult for a Sales Manager (for example) to understand that whatever he or she asks for from a CRM tool will be built exactly as they specified. On the surface, this sounds positive, but the truth is that anything that is left out of the description will not exist at all, and anything even somewhat loosely defined will end up a complete mess. The Developers will, of course, make modifications - all during billable hours, and typically at rates much higher than their original proposal, because this is all 'extra work' that you did not originally specify.

The fault, of course, is yours.

Think of it this way: If you say to your teenager, "Please take the wet clothes out of the washing machine and put them into the dryer", what are the odds that they will start the dryer? With a Developer, the odds may be 0%. Bear in mind, this is not the Developer's fault. Their job is to build exactly what they are asked to build - no imagination, no guessing, no assumptions. They are not rewarded for thinking outside the box - they are the box. To be good Developers, they have to be the box.

So when a Developer gets your laundry request, they have several questions, because they want to get it right and any mistakes they make come out of their pocket:

• In which room is the washing machine?
• In which room is the dryer?
• If the washing machine and the dryer are in different rooms, by which route should the clothing be transported?
• Which machine is the washing machine?
• Which machine is the dryer?
• At what time of day do you wish this task to occur?
• Should the clothing be removed from the washing machine immediately after it becomes wet, or at some later time? If at some later time, exactly what time?
• Should all of the clothing be removed, or only some of the clothing? If only some of the clothing, please specify which clothing is to be removed.
• Should all of the clothing be transported to the dryer, or only some? If only some of the clothing, please specify which clothing is to be transported.
• Should clothing be immediately transported after removal from the washing machine, or at some later time?
• If at some later time, exactly what time?
• Should clothing be transported from the washing machine to the dryer one article at a time, in groups, or all at once? If one article at a time, please specify the order of articles. If in groups, please specify which articles should be in which groups, and in which order the groups should be removed.
• Do you wish to have some type of confirmation when the clothing has been removed from the washing machine? Do you also wish confirmation when the clothing has been transported to the dryer?

This list could be pages longer (Business Analysts, you know it's true), but you get the idea. And notice the critical point: Because you did not specify turning the dryer on, it never made it to the list of questions.

Here's the real problem:

• Developers assume that you know what you want. (And that you will spell it out.)
• You assume that the Developers know what you want. (And that they will build it without being told to.)

Successful Development takes time and work on everyone's part. But more than that, it takes understanding of how the Development process actually works - how it has to work.

This is the reason that large organizations have Project Managers, Business Analysts, QA's, etc.: their real, unspoken job is translator. And - even if you are in a large organization, with the benefit of all of those folks - it will save you months (if not years) of frustration dealing with budget overruns, late launches, bugs, unworkable interfaces, unmet priorities and lack of sleep if you learn to look at every Development project from the Developer's point of view, and give them exactly what they need to give you exactly what you need:

A good night's sleep!

Liar!

The average human being lies 4 times each day (this number does not take politicians into account, because they obviously throw off the scale). So why in the world do you expect someone to be honest with you on a survey?

Long, long ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, I worked for a software publisher and reseller that was building an online catalog. Online catalogs were a new thing at the time, as was the idea of a user interface that was actually geared toward an average user. To do it right, we met with a fellow who did consulting for companies that wanted to do business with big players like Microsoft, Apple, and Amazon, or to emulate them.

We walked him through what we had, and our head of new product development explained how we had structured each page to push Customers toward other pages to control their experience and expose them to useful content.

"Stop," he said. We stopped. "How successful have you been at getting Customers to go to that page?"

Not very, we admitted, but we had this great plan to change that by doing this, that, and another thing.

"Stop." We stopped again. "What makes you think Customers want this?"

"We did surveys," said our product development guy. "And the majority of..."

"They lied," said the consultant guy. "They told you what they thought they should say, not what they really do." Silence.

"Why would they lie?" we finally said. "It's in their best interest to tell the truth."

"Because people lie," he said. "The U.S. spent $24 billion on porn last year, but if you ask anyone, they don't buy porn. Somebody's buying it."

Furrowed eyebrows around the table while we digested this.

"So what do we do?" we said.

"Do what Amazon does: Don't listen to what Customers say. Watch everything they do. If they don't go to a particular page, get rid of it. If they go to another page a lot, give them more of whatever's there. Don't make anything more than one or at most two clicks away from where they start out. And recheck your results every single day, so you can anticipate shifts before they become widespread."

Another note about surveys: They are hollow. By that I mean that most people don't do them, and those who do tend to be people who are strongly motivated to say something positive or strongly motivated to say something negative. If you are like most organizations, 80% of your customers fall somewhere in the middle. And, since the average survey response rate is around 3%, why are you making business decisions based on what 1% or 2% of your Customers took the time to say?

I am not saying don't provide Customer for Life (perfect, on time, personalized) service. I am saying that watching what your Customers do - how many respond to offers and when, how many you lose or retain and why, increases or decreases in spend, etc. - matters more than what a small number of them say. Don't make major changes because of a single complaint or two, or reward based on a compliment or two. Which leads us to GAS:

Don't Guess. Assume, or Speculate. Find out. Eliminate G.A.S.

Price vs. Cost

As we've discussed before, language defines culture. Putting a word to something conjures an image and an expectation of the thing named. That's why shamans and occultists put so much store by names - they understood that naming a thing gave them power over it. And for any business that sells any good or service, nothing is more important than the definition of and the distinction between cost and price.

Price is the sticker on that new car. It is a liquid word, and implies flexibility and negotiation. It also identifies the thing to which the price is attached as a commodity... that is, an item that exists in identical form at the business down the street. Anything that is a dime a dozen has a price, and we just named it. (But we'll give you fourteen for that same dime if you buy today.)

Cost is a fixed quantity. In the Customer's mind, it is an immovable object. "The cost of X is Y." There can be no negotiation with cost; it is what it is, and that's what it costs.

Now here's the part where you learn a new language: Everything sold has a cost. Nothing has a price. Ever. This is not a negotiating tactic, nor is it a sales formula. If price has ever passed your lips, you have used the incorrect word. That is a fact, and I can prove it to you:

To have a price, an item must be a commodity - that is, an identical item must be available elsewhere. If you have the only one of a given item that exists anywhere in the world, what you charge for it is not negotiable, simply because it does not need to be. The Customer cannot purchase the exact same item elsewhere, so he must pay what you ask or go without.

"But we sell X," you say, "and the guys down the street have X, too."

To which I say, "No, they don't. No one sells what you sell. And you know why? Because X is not what you sell. X may be included in what you sell, but what you sell is you - your organization and how you do business. Your customer service, your terms, your speed of delivery and accuracy of execution, your satisfaction ratings, your industry awards, your knowledge, and on and on. That is what you sell. And it has a cost."

Make a list of these things (they're called Points of Differentiation, or POD's). Trumpet them. Be the best at them. Don't make anything up or spout half-truths. Make them things that you can say to your kids or your reflection without blinking, looking away, or laughing. Make sure that everyone in your organization - not just the salespeople - knows them by heart. And if you don't believe them, sell your business to someone who does and go home, because you have already given up. Why take everyone else down with you?

One final note: Slap anyone who says that a service has a price, ever. A service is as individualized as you can get - no two haircuts are any more alike than two snowflakes or the services performed by hookers in Vegas.*

*Or so I'm told.

Customer = Prospect

Customer loyalty is at an all-time low. On the plus side, this means that competition is fierce. Fierce competition has a tendency to shake out the dross. No dross drives good organizations to either play their best game or fail.

Exciting, isn’t it?

It is a terrific time to win new Customers. There’s just one problem: They’re not new Customers, even if they purchase from you. Today, tomorrow, and for the foreseeable future, every Customer is actually a Prospect.

Prospects must be won over each and every day, with every at bat, over and over again, no matter how many times they purchase from you.

Again, the good news is that organizations that deliver the 3 Expectations (Zero Defects, Timeliness, Personalization) have the opportunity to win unprecedented market share.

The bad news? Those that don’t will lose it.

Pocketing & Knowledge Retention

Two of the most frequent communication failures for organizations are pocketing and knowledge retention.

Pocketing occurs when an employee - anyone from an entry level hire to the CEO - learns something new and does not share the information. This is most frequently unintentional. In many cases, they may assume that what they have just learned is something that everyone else already knows. Even if they do share this knowledge, it is unlikely to travel beyond their immediate working group or hierarchical strata. As a result, their knowledge exists in a pocket. Unfortunately, oftentimes this knowledge is something that would have helped the organization make or save more money.

Knowledge retention works like this: You spend a great deal of time, money, and effort training new hires. The longer they stay, the more they learn on their own. Because of pocketing, when layoffs occur or when a knowledgeable employee leaves the organization for other reasons, their accumulated knowledge goes with them. The loss of this information often costs the organization money, if for no other reason than that anyone new is likely to make many mistakes learning the same lessons on their own. Leaving aside the cost of having to train someone new from scratch, why in the world would you want to keep reinventing the wheel?

There are two solutions, and both are necessary: First, run your organization as lean as you possibly can - especially mid-level and senior management staff, where costs and knowledge tend to pool. Second, invest in a shared knowledge base.

Originally, knowledge bases were the province of technical support. Today, any organization without one operates at a serious deficit. Whether a full-blown wiki, intranet, or something as simple as a collection of Google Docs, encourage everyone to contribute (and I do mean everyone), and make sure that everyone has access to view everything (but limit edit rights to each document's author or work group). Make it a living, breathing resource, with someone in charge of keeping it organized, up to date, and eliminating redundancies.

Think of it this way: What would happen to your organization if you were hit by a bus tomorrow? What if it was your head of sales, marketing, product development, or a key member of your sales, customer service, or technical staff? The amount of information that goes into your knowledge base should be complete enough that if this actually happened, your replacement (or theirs) could walk in tomorrow and immediately take over, with minimal impact on the organization.